When my husband and I first started dating, it was a giant secret. He was a professional dater, and I was fresh out of a three-year, mostly-serious relationship. We were cautious and we didn’t want anyone to know. I think about two people in the entire world knew about it. It was young, budding love. The kind where we both ran over our cell phone minutes having late-night conversations and then had to spend a week only leaving each other voicemail messages and sending texts. The one where I could barely fall asleep at night because I was just EXCITED. The kind where he could just smile at me and I thought I had died.
Of course, people slowly found out. We introduced the subject to them slowly, a few members at a time. They probably didn’t care, but for us, this was our way of easing into a new world and enjoying it. Things changed then. The relationship was different because we were suddenly not hiding this big secret. It changed again after we got engaged. And got married. And had a few kids.
We’ve been through a lot together. I guess I didn’t realize how much it changed until recently.
I’ve seen a lot of young love around me recently. From the famous, to royalty to friends and family. It’s everywhere. And the idea of young love is so exciting and adorable and it just makes me want to hug someone.
I was reminiscing with someone that I sort of miss that young love stage. The constant texts that keep me preoccupied during work. Door-holding, hand-holding, heart-holding. Not that my husband doesn’t hold my heart, it’s just different. This person reminded me that what we have is stable, and that is awesome to someone in young love, like her. Plus, she says we are still adorable. Then she said, “I bet he kisses you on the forehead, right?”
Yes he does. And he always takes charge of keeping me safe in a crowd of people. He tries to hold doors for me, but I’m usually in front and handle it myself. He can wrap my entire body up in his arms–that’s when I feel the safest. I feel like nothing, nothing physically or mentally, can hurt me in that moment. Or the way he listens to me. He’s taller and sometimes, if I’m telling him something quietly, he’ll bend down and put his head close to mine and listen, while he sort of holds the small of my back. Or the way he calls me Mama now that we have kids. Or the way he’s impressed with what I can handle around the house when he’s just unavailable because his class load is so intense at school.
But because we have older love, I can now be vocal about my irritation with his driving or how I think he eats too much fast food and I’m concerned about that catching up with him. I can do so without fearing him taking it personally and thinking that I hold it against him.
It’s a trade off I guess.
So for those of you in young love. Cherish it, because once you get married, have babies and acquire a mortgage, it’s not as young anymore and it changes. For those of you in old love, well, when you start to miss the young love, just remember the things that you do for each other now that still make you smile, that still give you butterflies, and the things that make you feel like skipping down the street just because you have it.
Love. It’s amazing.